Tamil woman in U.S. - Superb blog article.

The following is an excerpt from a blog (written by an Indian in America )

Superb! Read it when u need a break...really superb...!

Read further only if you are a Tamilian.

Title: En per padum paadu!!!

என் பேர் படும் பாடு

My full name is Kalaivani, but I call myself Kalai. This is not for scene, ....like how Madhavan does in Anbe Sivam (Anbarasu --> Ars).it has a looooong and pathetic history...

I started hearing different versions of my name after coming to this country, and the painful fact is all the possible permutations and combinations of vowels in my name give meaningful words in tamil!!!

When I first joined the university, my professor wrote to me..

Dear KALAvani (meaning: thief; context: kalavani paya..)

Sari adhuvachum typo nu free ya vittudalam..

சரி அதுவாச்சும் typo நு free ya விட்டுடலாம் .

Then after a year, I joined a company for internship.those people called me before I joined, to inform me about some test which I had to take..

"Hello is this Ms. Kizhavaani?"

கிழவாணி (meaning: old; context : kizha bolt..etc.)

"No..this is KALAIvaani"

"Ohh..am sorry KALAvaani" (மறுபடியும் ..)

Then I decided.periya pera irukkinala thane ivlo confusion?!! So, I started calling myself 'Kalai'... but the story continued..

I joined my full-time position in another company recently. On my first day, we had a meeting..

"Let's all welcome our new associate.Ms. Kulai" (meaning: bunch; context: kulai kulaiyai vazhaipazham kaaithadhu)

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! Followed by smiles.

(Dei.ennangada. .. ellarum serndhu comedy panreengala? ??)
(டேய் என்னங்கடா. .. எல்லாரும் சேர்ந்து காமெடி பண்ரீங்களா

Anniku arambichadhu. ..(அன்னிக்கு ஆரம்பிச்சது )

Once my boss and I were talking about a project... after finishing the meeting...

"Ok, Kali. Nice to have you here!" (meaning: last yuga; context: kali muthi pochu.)

"That's KALAI" (Enakku idhu thevaya?!) (எனக்கு இது தேவையா .)

"Ohh kAALi?" (meaning: goddess; context: badrakaali.. )

"Hee hee .very close" (Podaannnggg. ..!!)

போடான்ன்ங்க் ...

So, I stopped correcting my name after that..!

One fine morning, I was working.

"Hey kiLai (meaning: branch; context: marakiLai) .howz it going?"

"Yea good" (Sollitu thirumbitten. Nammaluku edhuku indha per thiruthura business nu...)
சொல்லிட்டு திரும்பிட்டேன் . நம்மளுக்கு எதுக்கு இந்த பேர் திருத்துற business நு

"Is that how you say your name?"

(Aaahaa arambichutanya. ..!!!)
ஆஆஹா அரம்பிசுடன்யா.

"Uhhh. It's KALAI"

"Kolaai?" (meaning:pump; context: kozhai adi sandai.)

(Venaaammm.. .)

வேனாம்ம்ம் .. .

"Kolai?" (meaning: murder; context: kolai panniduven.. )

வேனாம்ம்ம் .. .

"kaLai?" (meaning: weed; context: kaLai pudunguradhu.)

(Valikkudhu. .. azhudhuduven. ..)

வலிக்குது . .. அழுதுடுவேன்

"May be I'll get your name with practice. Haha."

(Idhellam remba over da dei... Tamil la paatha rende rendu ezhuthu thaan da!!!)

(இதெல்லாம் ரொம்ப ஓவர் டா டேய் ... தமிழ் ல பாத்தா ரெண்டே ரெண்டு எழுத்து தான் டா

Ennada, Chandramukhi la thalaivar 'durga' perai nakkaladikkira maathiri... namma per ayiduche nu nenaikkum podhu... (என்னடா , Chandramukhi ல தலைவர் 'துர்கா ' பேரை நக்கலடிக்கிற மாதிரி ... நம்ம பேர் ஆயிடுச்சே நு நெனைக்கும் போது) my friend came up with a brilliant idea!

Adhavadhu... to compare my name with a word.so I started using this word 'kaleidoscope' ; which has the same pronunciation as 'kalai'!

So, I started telling everyone. 'Kalai as in kaleidoscope' !. Ippo kooda romba ellam ozhunga solradhulla. They are saying 'kalaai' (kalaaikiradhu)..

"Hey Kalaai!!"

"Yea?"

"Just trying to say your name. Ha ha ha"

"Ohhh ..how sweet!" (thooo thEri..) தூ தேறி

Yedho vaandhi edukkira effect la per irundhalum.. . my life was in peace... until few days back...

My net connection was down, so I called up the customer service (En kiragam. Madras call center ku pochu!)

Enakku andha vishayame theriyala. So I started in complete American accent...

"Your name ma'am?"

"Kalaai"

"What? Can you repeat ma'am?"

" Kalaai as in kaleidoscope"

"I didn't get that ma'am. Can I have your number? I can check the records"

(Sigh!... and gave the number)

"Ohh, Kalaivani, right?" (in a sarcastic tone.)

( Ada paavi makka... nee nammooora??! !! All American accents stopped. Back to Indian accent.)

I could clearly see what he was thinking... per paatha 'urs pammingly' nu podra category maathiri irukku... scene podradhu mattum princess Diana range kaa...

"Anna... naan sathyama andha maathiri illeeengana. ..

அண்ணா... நான் சத்தியமா அந்த மாதிரி இல்லீங்கண்ணா